Writings of Kerala Geek

I had spent most of early childhood in Kannur district of Kerala. I stayed there till I was 11. After that we shifted to Trivandrum since my father got a transfer. Kannur life was pretty interesting. We had stayed in NGO quarters where I had lot of friends. One of the early things that I remember very vividly of Kannur life was a trip to Mahe.

Mahe (Mayyazhi) is a union territory directly administered by Indian government. It is in Kerala and is adjacent to Kannur. But different set of rules apply there. There is also difference in taxes. More importantly there is a difference in tax for alcohol. In Mahe alcohol is considerably cheaper than other parts of Kerala. This automatically means a lot of alcohol is smuggled  between Mahe and Kerala.

My family used to go to Mahe to visit St. Theresa’s church. One day we were returning from one such trip. The bus was jam packed and I was sitting at the rear of the bus with a plastic bag. It contained 2 water bottles we were carrying. My father and mother were in front and couldn’t see me due to the rush in the bus.

When our bus reached Kerala border, a police jeep stopped it. The sub inspector(SI) was standing beside the jeep and he sent two constables to check the bus. They were looking for alcohol smugglers. To be precise, they were looking for bribe from alcohol smugglers. One of the constables came near me and asked - “What is in the bag?”

I replied - “Bottles” (I was too young and wasn’t even aware what he was looking for!)

Suddenly I could see terrorized looks on the face of passengers near me. The constable told me to get down with my bag. I was wondering what is happening and looked for my father, but he could not be seen.

Constable took me to the SI. Now the entire bus was watching the proceedings with a surprised look. SI asked me the question again, “What is in the bag” again came the same reply - “Bottles”. He looked surprised and took my bag and looked inside. I would  be underestimating if I said he looked surprised. He suddenly turned angry and gave the bag to the constable who had brought me there.  He also peeked inside - Man, if somebody could photograph it - It was a Kodak moment!

I returned to the bus. Passengers also had a look at the bag. There was a loud cheer from the bus and they started booing the police. The SI and his team suddenly disappeard. The rest of the journey was interesting with everyone cursing the police.

PS: Kerala has the highest alcohol consumption in India. You can find queues all through the day in front of the alcohol shops. Ironically Kerala society in general considers alcohol as a devil

PPS: Personally I prefer Fosters beer.